I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
