So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
