i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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