I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
