Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
