is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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