So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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