After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
