Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
