I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
