"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i will never coherently bang her
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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