names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
