Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
