Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
