After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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