He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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