The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
