I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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