There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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