Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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