lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
As shirtless as possible
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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