That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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