Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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