wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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