he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
