can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
