In the future we'll all be gay
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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