smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
