hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
