my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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