Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
