I think im going to throw up on grandma
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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