so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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