hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
