On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
