No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize