1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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