feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is the high leading the old right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
