I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
