This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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