Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
