the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
