My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
