it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
