Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
