Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
