are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
