Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
