Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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