Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
