a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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