so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
