Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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