last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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