What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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