Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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