sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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