i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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