Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
