no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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