someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
