How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
